Sh*t Be Real: Three Keys to Financial Discipline
We were broke when we met. My wife and I, that is.
She was a PT student. I was coming off a self-imposed sabbatical.
For six years, we bootstrapped everything. Upon graduating, she focused on her student loans and some of our expenses while I covered the majority of our expenses and “saving for a future”.
Well-well-well motherf*cker, that future has arrived.
My wife and I recently had a baby. I mean, my wife had the baby, but I was there.
With the snap of the fingers, reality’s changed forever.
It’s no longer just me, myself and I. Or my wife and I.
A minion has entered the mix.
Sh*t be real.
The reality of time and money as constraints has begun to settle like honey on a log.
And while my wife and I have generally been “good with money” up to this point, we’ve come to realize that what got us here, won’t get us there. The expiration date has passed.
The need for a new financial framework: urgent.
The difference between a slow drowning and living to paddle another day - here’s what we’ve arrived at.
…
Lesson #1: Focus narrowly, to focus deeply.
Who you are, what you think, feel, and do, what you love—is the sum of what you focus on. - Cal Newport, Deep Work
Constraints force clarity. When time and money are suddenly finite in ways they never were before, you can't afford to scatter your attention.
My wife would be on reduced (<50%) pay for months until back at work, I would have to cover more and we would have more to cover. For every child, our financial equation and its constraints on us would grow in degrees of complexity.
It was time to go back to the drawing board. Time for Coach Klein to sketch up a new play.
We took it back to the basics. We went away (with baby) for a 2-day jaunt of walking in the woods and talking through our life’s aims:
- Where are we going?
- How will we get there?
- And what is vs. isn’t serving us on that path?
We returned home with a newfound sense of purpose.
What had started as reflections and discussions around our lives and our dreams crystallized into financial goals. We knew what we had to do, to get to where we wanted to be.
A few days later, three targets went up on the corkboard in our kitchen:
- Pay off Ryan Mary’s student loans (3 years)
- Save for a home (3 years)
- Build a healthy nest egg for our future (5 years)
These are our milestones - the lighthouses guiding us toward our dreams.
Yours are for you and yours to determine.
Turning the abstract and vague into the concrete and clear is a commitment to your dreams.
And your dreams matter too.
Lesson #2: Start where you spend.
What gets measured, gets managed. - Peter Drucker
Our culture pushes "more, more, more" and "spend, spend, spend" because Americans have become cash cows for businesses.
Our consumption-heavy economy doesn't serve some greater ideal—it's not better for us or society at large. It's simply good for business, especially when we're ignorant of where our money flows.
The proof is stark: two-thirds of Americans live paycheck-to-paycheck, and 80% carry consumer debt.
These norms weren't designed to make us wealthy and free. They were designed to keep us strapped down and stressed the f*ck out.
That's why we need to reject them entirely to achieve true (financial) freedom.
The easiest place to start …
Where do you think?
Where you spend your money.
Once you're aware of your expenses, you can flip them over:
- Does this purchase really add value to my life?
- Does spending this way align with what I value and who I am?
Just as Whole 30 is an elimination diet people use to "reset" and discover what inflames or fuels their bodies, tracking spending reveals whether we're slaves to our money or using it as a tool.
My wife and I have tracked our expenses weekly since early in our relationship. Over time, this practice has taught us lessons we couldn't have otherwise learned.
For instance, we discovered that dining out adds surprisingly little value (to our lives) and is one of the easiest places to save money.
The clear majority of the time, we can make better, healthier versions of restaurant meals for a fraction of the cost.
This awareness extends beyond our regular spending. When we get a bump in income—a raise or a bonus—we already know our priorities: 90% goes toward "the big three" (noted above) and the remaining 10% goes toward an adventure or goods we've been putting off.
The principle is simple: saving and earning more doesn't lead to spending more. It leads to saving and investing more, which means hitting our milestones earlier and getting closer to achieving our life's dreams.
The takeaway? Be intentional: save for what matters, question debt, and spend with purpose.
Freedom comes from owning your time, not owing it.
Lesson #3: Simplify before you multiply.
Compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world. He who understands it, earns it; he who doesn't, pays it. - often attributed to Albert Einstein
Financial freedom is simple, not easy.
The foundation is straightforward: save your money, then put it to work.
Once you've built the habit of setting some aside, you can focus on making that money grow itself. Two principles matter most:
- Lean on the power of compound interest. The S&P 500 has historically returned 10% annually—meaning $100 today becomes $110 next year, then $121 the year after. Money making money, automatically.
- Stay invested. Time in the market beats timing the market, every time.
The best part? You don't need to do it alone.
Set up automatic investments through a brokerage account—Fidelity, Vanguard, or a robo-advisor like Wealthfront—and let the system run itself.
Your job is to identify and eliminate friction. Make investing so automatic you forget it's happening. Set it and forget it.
While you sleep, compound interest goes to work.
While you simplify, your wealth continues to grow.
Get on in there. Your future self will thank you.
…
To finish the moment, to find the journey's end in every step of the road, to live the greatest number of good hours, is wisdom. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
This life blows by like a whisper in the wind.
Enjoying each step along the way is what matters most.
It's cliche, yes. Plastered on half the wall art at Homegoods, I get it.
But, it's true.
If you hang your hat on being "there," you'll miss today.
Financial discipline doesn't have to be drudgery. It can be fun.
Watching dreams become reality is fun.
Handling big decisions, like buying a home without ruinous stress, is fun.
Sometimes, my wife and I put on music, grab coffee, and review our finances together. We make it light and enjoyable. We check our progress, and when we fall short, we learn.
We have each other and the pursuit of a dream. That's plenty to light up a life.
For married couples: trust the process like you trust each other. You're a team.
Wisdom isn't reaching some distant destination—it's finding the journey's end in every step. It's being present. It’s truly sucking the marrow from life.
Not tomorrow when you've "made it," but today, while you’re in it.