Icing My Balls for Baby Balance
We grew up in unbalanced households.
My wife, in a tide of feminine energy. I, in a whirlpool of masculine energy.
Don't get me wrong, we loved our childhoods and we love our siblings. But there was always a nagging "What if?". What if my wife had a brother to roughhouse and compete with? What if I'd had a sister to keep me from becoming such a low-browed knuckle dragger?
A couple months ago we got our chance. We started our own family experiment.
Our baby girl popped onto the scene and damned-near-immediately taught us that while sleep is nice-to-have, smiling is a must-have.
Within a week, we were already dreaming out loud about a second. About ābalanceā. Hoping that no matter how many children we had, weād eventually have one of each sex.
Naturally, this sent me diving into the darkest corners of the internet, hunting for any thread of truth. Can you influence a babyās sex? Is there some secret method? Special foods? Gravity tricks? Moon phases? Horoscopes?
Of all places, we can lean on Horoscopes to guide us in love-making and baby genders, right?
So, I, the diaper station philosopher set out to learn meself in the mystical art of what really matters for baby making.
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Focus on what you can control and let go of what you cannot. - Epictetus
Turns out the old Stoic was onto something.
When it comes to the art of building a balanced family, the big questions are: can we increase our odds of conceiving, and can we influence whether we have a boy or a girl?
From what I've researched (and Iāll be speaking from the male perspective): we CAN improve our fertility, but we CANNOT influence the sex of our children.
There are old wives' tales about influencing sperm speed to favor males, but aside from one mouse study, I found nothing credibleāand wouldn't know what to do with that information anyway.
So let's focus on what we can control.
The Fundamentals
These are non-negotiable if you're serious about fertility:
- Heat and vices kill. Saunas, hot tubs, laptops on your lap, tight underwear. Heavy alcohol, tobacco, and cannabis use. They're all bad for the boys.
- Health wins. Diet, exercise, moving over sitting, supplements (omega-3s, CoQ10, zinc, etc.), sunlight, and rest. They're all good for the boys.
The Edge Cases
Promising strategies that are yet to be proven but worth considering:
- Cold wins. Bryan Johnson recently ran an experiment on himself and found that icing the nuggets (while taking sauna) is good for the boys.
- Cell less. EMF waves lead to testicular heating, which leads to sperm damage. Keep your distance or sleeve it for the sake of future yous.
Note: I'm using "the boys" as a lighthearted stand-in for all things testesātestosterone, sperm quantity, sperm quality, etc.
What you do with this depends on where you're at.
- If you're actively trying to make a minion, put it into practice.
- If not, file it away as conversation fodder for a rainy day.
Here's what I'm doing - not as a prescription - but as one man's approach:
I was already hitting the fundamentals: eating well, moving daily, prioritizing sleep. My baseline was solid. What I've added: loose-fitting underwear, ice packs during sauna sessions, a male fertility supplement stack, daily walks, more red meat and fatty fish, and keeping my cell phone at arm's length (or further) whenever possible.
What I'm NOT doing is going full "monk mode." I still enjoy a drink here and there and the occasional cheat meal or cheat day (pizza for football Sundays). During the week I keep carbs low to reduce inflammation, and on weekends I loosen the belt.
I'm a fan of cycling: being hard on myself 80% of the time to then enjoy the 20% where I'm softer on myself. Some days I eat more, some days I fast. I believe in moderation and the 80/20 rule. Mostly dialed in, but not so rigid that life loses its luster.
The thing I try to keep in mind, with fertility as in many of lifeās meaningful pursuits, is that nothing's guaranteed.
You can do everything "right" and still not get what you want. I find it best to optimize to the point of zaniness, then back off and enjoy the ride.
Push to the point of diminishing returns, then let go.
C'est la vie.
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I started my research convinced that a "balanced family" meant having both boys and girls. But somewhere between the research rabbit hole and 3 AM diaper station philosophy sessions, life reminded me: expect the unexpected, and be grateful for it.
All I know is that I'm blessed with a beautiful, healthy daughter. And I'm genuinely excited for whatever comes next.
However many. Boy or girl. It doesn't matter.
What matters is focusing on what I can actually control. Loving what I'm given more than obsessing over what I imagine.
This frame of mind just feels a whole lot freer, lighter, and more in line with who I am and where Iām meant to be.